Gina Groweon 01 Jul 2008 at 5:47 pm 1. HawtMortalityStealer
2. Weirdo Fucktard (my personal fav for my roomie)
3. Chicken wings with bleu cheese (yummers)
4. Barry Manilow (I still cry when I hear Mandy)

Gina, my darling? Email me at Dakota@dakotacassidy.com with yer vitals–and congrats!

Guys! You were crazy awesome for playing with us–and thank you for coming out in droves. Loved every minute of it–so we’ll do it again sometime, eh? LOLLOL

And a big thanks to my nutty BFF’s for playing along–you guys are the cats meow

Dakota

Just in case you pop in here before we all get our posts up–check back around 11 or so CST. I slapped mine up here before bed because I figured most everyone would be sound asleep at 3 a.m. CST. My bad. We should have synchronized our bat watches. LOL. Anyway, 11 or so oughta give everyone time to get their slacker butts out of bed, don’t ya think? I’m kidding So if all the posts aren’t up–check back. The divas need their sleep. LOLLOL

Dudes–ya wanna win some stuff?

Check it out.

So today marks the release of the second installment in the Accidental Series–Accidentally Dead, starring uberpotty mouth, reluctant as all hell vampire, Nina Blackman. Hellz to the yeah. In celebration, and with my very difficult, maybe a little unwilling buds, we’ve created a scavenger hunt. Fun, right?

Here’s what’cha gotta do–head on over to the brilliant Michele Bardsley’s blog and read the questions and answers she posed to myself and Nina here

Now go to the fabulous Mark Henry’s blog here and do the same here.

And now on to the incredible Toni McGee Causey’s blog for more Q & A here

Finally–come right back here to my blog and in the comments, leave the answers to the questions I’ve posted below

That’s it! Now all entrants with the CORRECT answers are automatically entered in a random drawing to win some BIG booty.

Wanna know what you could win?

I’m giving away a signed copy of The Accidental Werewolf AND a fifteen dollar Amazon gift certificate, plus a tote from RT 2008 filled with goodies.

Mark Henry’s upchucking an autographed copy of HAPPY HOUR OF THE DAMNED (and maybe another surprise or two … it’s a purge, darling, you never know what’ll show up).

Michele Bardsley’s spewing–(again … gah! Can she get control of that spittle issue already?) an autographed ARC of WAIT TILL YOUR VAMPIRE GETS HOME and some Broken Heart swag

Toni McGee Causey’s offering–autographed copy of BOBBIE FAYE’S VERY (very, very, very) BAD DAY and a “shuck me, suck me, eat me raw” pin and a $15 Amazon or B&N gift certificate.. We promise she won’t blow up another bridge (at least not near you).

Those damned contest rules–Entries must be posted to Dakota’s blog by midnight (CST) Wednesday July 2, 2008. All correct answers from participants will be placed in a random drawing. ONE winner will be announced on Dakota’s blog on July 3, 2008. The winner must contact Dakota to collect the prizes.

And now those questions–Don’t forget to leave your answers in the comments section!

1. What one word does Nina use to describe Greg?

2. What really rude name does Nina call Mark Henry?

3. What does Nina miss and or hate most about being immortal?

4. Which celebrity, other than John Cusack (cuz he’s been dragged off by martians) would Nina love to have come to her house?

Go here  http://www.leagueofreluctantadults.com/blog.html Saturday, June 14, 2008

for the chance to win a signed ARC of Accidentally Dead, a signed copy of The Accidental Werewolf

AND

15 Amazon gift dollars

Woo to the hoo!

Ya gotta be in it to win it–so pop over to The League of Reluctant Adults and say hello

Dakota

So my oldest turned 18 today. I thought I’d share a pic or three with ya of our celebration.This is Travis after 18 hours in a strip club–one for each year of his life Woo to the Hoo. Travis obviously couldn’t stand the big boy heat, so Rob and I called wussy, dropped his loser ass off at home, then went bar hopping. LOLLOLThen we decided for all the grief he’s given me over the years, he should bar hop with us and LIKE IT–so we picked him back up, drove back to the bar where our seats were still warm, and made him do belly shots off sleek, tanned stripper tummies–and THIS is what a strapping young man looks like after he’s been out wit da big boyz and girlz.\\I’m kidding… Travis couldn’t keep the setting sun out of his eyes, so he kept looking down, and he’s going to KILL me if he ever sees this. Ain’t he cute?So my baby is 18 today. I was kinda weepy–though he’s still with me for another year for his senior year of HS, I spent way too much time reflecting today. I’ve only had Travis 17 1/2 years–we adopted him when he was six months old from Romania and I remember the day like it was yesterday. I’d been through the infertility gamut, and I was tapped. The whole Romanian thing exploded just as I’d decided maybe it was time to begin looking at other options.A friend of a friend hooked us up with some folks who knew some folks in Romania, and literally, we got on a plane, lived there for six weeks during the holidays in 1990–and came home with the above. he was seriously the best ever baby. Slept through the night, ditched the bottle at a year, potty trained like he was training for the porcelain olympics.Then he turned fifteen… and HOLY BEJESUS! I shit you not when I say Travis had some trying moments in his 18 years–there were times, and still are, when I want to KILL HIM, but all-in-all, he’s good kid.  He wants to be a cop–fear him, fine residents of Dallas. Especially because he’ll have a car AND a gun. LMAO So we took him out for a fancy meal at one of our fave steakhouses to celebrate and I still had to tell him to put his napkin in his lap.Proving to me, it ain’t ovah yet, eh? LOLHappy birthday, baby boy. Luvz you like more than my Vic Secret credit card :)Hugs and kisses,Your weepy, pathetic mom  :)    

Brandy!

hell to the yeah, baby!

Brandy? Email me at Dakota@dakotacassidy.com to collect yon boot-ay.

And to everyone else, muchas gracias–you guys were crazy awesome to come out in droves like ya did. And if you didn’t get Toni’s book yet–runnnnnnn and buy it! LOL

Dakota

Introducing, Bobbie Faye–LOL funny, with a streak of bad luck a mile wide. Toni McGee Causey’s second in her uproariously funny Bobbie Faye series is available NOW! Get it at Amazon.com Or you can find it in the general fiction section of your local bookstore!But hey, you don’t have to wait to read the book to enter the contest! And you might win some seriously cool stuff if you’re willing to trip the blogtastic!

In an effort to make up for trashing half of Louisiana, Bobbie Faye’s been offered a chance to right her wrongs by writing an advice column for her local paper. Michele Bardsley and I decided who could use advice more than our heroines, Nina from ACCIDENTALLY DEAD, and Patsy from BECAUSE YOUR VAMPIRE SAID SO? With that in mind, we thought a contest would be fun, fun, fun and so we sent off a letter to the very, er, helpful Bobbie Faye…

So here’s what ya gotta do to enter–

Read Nina’s cry from the lovelorn below after the contest rules, and enter a comment.

Then read Patsy’s plea here: Michele Bardsley’s Blog

Then hit Toni McGee Causey’s blog: Toni McGee Causey’s Blog

We’re all giving away prizes, and you could be entered to win ‘em all! Just leave comments at each blog. Each author will choose a winner. And here’s what you could win if you come play with us!

Dakota’s giving away a signed ARC of ACCIDENTALLY DEAD and an Amazon gift certificate for 15 smackers

Michele Bardsley’s offered up an ARC of her November release WAIT TILL YOUR VAMPIRE GETS HOME and some Broken Heart goodies.

Toni’s giving away a 15$ Barnes and Noble gift certificate and the most AWESOME T-shirt to ever hit RT: CafePress

And now those damned contest rules–Contest begins Sunday June 1, 2008 and ends Monday June 2, 2008 at midnight CST. One winner will be chosen from each blog–so go enter them all!All winners are chosen at random and must check back at each blog on Tuesday June 3, 2008 to see if they’ve won in order to claim their prize.

Read Bobbie Faye’s answers to our poor heroine’s dilemmas, and get to know one of the freshest, funniest voices in humor today! And if you haven’t already, check BOBBIE FAYE’S (KINDA, SORTA, NOT EXACTLY) FAMILY JEWELS: Amazon.com

And don’t forget to pick up Bobbie Faye’s first adventure, BOBBIE FAYE’S VERY (VERY, VERY, VERY) BAD DAY! Amazon.com

So ready–set–go blog hop!

Dear Bobbie Faye,

Dude, what kind of name is that? Do you realize your name’s so close to a freaky-deaky bunch of women called Bobbie-Sue Cosmetics I could yark my lunch up? If I could eat lunch, that is.

Which brings me to my problem and I gotta say, I have my doubts you can help with a name like that, but that Patsy chick took a shot at it–so I figure what’s the worst that could happen? I ask–you disappoint me with your craptacularness and we move on.

So here goes.There’s this guy I really, really dig. He’s also a guy who has a really, really BIG problem. He’s not just immortal, but his immortality has a serious expiration date on it. Like a milk carton, ya know? Here’s the thing–if he hooks up with me and we mate (or whatever these un-lifers call it), I can’t ever be a human again. And believe me, if you missed chicken wings as much as I do, you wouldn’t want to clan up, but if I don’t slap on a pair of big girl panties–he’s dead meat. Um, undead meat. Forget it–he’s just meat.Go on wit yer bad self and tap that.

Regards,

Missin’ my mortality

Dear Missin’ The Point Here:

Dude. We are just gonna skip right past that whole name thing, because if I had enough energy, I’d have to come over there and drop kick your ass into next week, and I am TIRED and things have been BLOWING UP here recently and I can barely lift my arms, much less actually walk over to your skanky ass and drop kick and seriously, if you make me get up from here, it is not going to be pretty because things have a way of going to hell, fast, and I don’t mean in another-worldly sort of fun way, but in a big ass KABOOM sort of way, even though I try NOT TO destroy everything.

SO, sliding RIGHT PAST that whole name thing, I have to say I have heard some of the best “I have to have sex now or my dick will fall off” excuses for getting into a girl’s undies, but the whole “I’m gonna TURN INTO DUST” is PRICELESS. I mean, wow. How many years do you think this guy has used this line? And if the girl says, “No,” does he empty a little baggie of dust there when she’s not looking and then leave so that when she turns around, she freaks out? Does one of his friends then scoop up the chick with, “I need to have sex before I turn into toe fuzz tomorrow?” This opens up an entire other universe of SKEEVE that bar hoppers are gonna start using and you cannot actually fall for this.

On the other hand, if he happens to be telling the truth and there’s a POTENTIAL of a whole eternity of HOT SEX with a really HOT GUY, I have to question what’s going on in your brain that you would even question whether or not to go for it vs. CHICKEN WINGS. I mean, honey, if the chicken wings in your part of the world are THAT good? We’ve gotta talk. I see franchise potential here.

-Bobbie Faye

And the ARC winners are…

ARC #1–Betty Breithuapt
ARC#2–J Clark
ARC#3–Kathy Farnsworth
ARC#4–Lori Tomlinson

And the grand prize winner of The RT tote, some RT goodies and an ARC iiiiisssss— Belinda Powell!!!!

Woooooo hooooooooooo! Congrats to everyone–now here’s what ya gotta do. All winners, please email me at Dakota@dakotacassidy.com–no spaces –to collect yer booty. If I don’t hear from you in a week–I’ll have to pick some consolation winners. So email me ASAP!

And thank you to ALL who played–I had a tremendous response to this contest, and I appreciate all the support!

Dakota

… meet puck.

it’s that crazy black thing those Red Wings whipped around the ice whenever you got near it–which wasn’t often–like they were stealin’ yer lunch on the playground. You know what little black thing I mean. The one that zipped past your goalie–A LOT.

Yes, darling’s, that’s the one. it’s the one no one could seem to capture and release into the RED WINGS net. The wee black disc that never had more than ONE Dallas Star friend at a time to play with. How about we look at the puck like this–it’s lonely–it’s an extrovert. it needs freakin’ crowds of HOCKEY PLAYERS to show it da love. ALL at once. it loves to be passed around like a whore who’s being paid by the hour at an all night orgy.

Now, before you Dallas fans get all nuts on me (and you know ya got it in ya), ya gotta admit, last nights game was an abomination and I’m not even a hockey fan-fan. My man scored some serious box seats–verra nice. I don’t like to watch hockey on TV, but I lurve it live. I was all in to cheer for you like the old ass cheerleader, 20 years long past my prime that I am. But sweet fancy Moses–you dudes made that uberhard Again, I’m sure you’re all fine, young men, but for all that’s sacred–be one with the puck. Please.

Just sayin’.

And speaking of cheering–as an aside to the lovely Dallas Stars Cheerleaders–I know it’s only hockey, girls. No, it’s not the fame and not so riches of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Yes, I understand that hardly anyone can see you do the actual cheering. Alas, the costumes aren’t nearly as cute as they could be, but for the love of a basket toss–could we shake those pom-poms????

Girls–pay attention to a former cheerleader–your pom-poms are your facilitators of fun–your generators of joy–your extensions of exuberance–USE THEM! Use them much in the case of the Stars–they need the love. I’m also sure you’re all lovely young women, and God knows I’d be the first chick out there if my ass looked like any one of yours, but you need to put some enthusiasm into it. As in work what the good Lord gave ya to shirk

And to the Dallas Stars fans–people–I’ve never seen such a display of bad manners in my whole life. Well, that’s not entirely true–you should see my sons eat. Tsk-tsk on you doody-head sore losers.

You bunch of folk need to gather yon southern manners and CHILL OUT. Lawd. So the Red Wings won–it’s not like they called your mother’s ‘hos. Just because they won, and had the audacity to say so on the way out the door, (the door you all hit long before the last period was ovah because you wanted out of that parking lot–loyal much?) doesn’t mean you have to threaten their persons. What happened to all that southern hospitality. Shouldn’t you be inviting the opposing team over for something chicken fried? Some sweet tea, perhaps? I heard more frontin’ by men forty and over in the ten minutes it took us to get to the parking lot than y’all will ever be able to back up. Do remember, if you wanna play on the playground–bring yer lunchpail. it’ll take a whole lot more than you Neanderthal’s sticking your chests out and yelling, “Oh, yeah? Come over HERE and say that to my face!” Surely you don’t want to end such a festive, fun-filled evening by having to go to the emergency room for a bazillion stitches, do you? X-rays cost much moolah, dudes.

Now, in the future, when I attend a hockey function, I’m counting on all of you to BEHAVE YOURSELVES. There will be absolutely no calling of the names, no whiny, sore loser-like tantrums and absolutely NO spitting! Especially when it’s done near my FEET. Don’t think I won’t rub your nose in it. I’ll clunk you over the head with my purse and wallop you till you cry for your mother

Just a heads up–oh, and all in good fun. I’m sure the Dallas Stars were just having a bad day–so any Dallas fans who come across this–mind yer potty mouths, now. I’s just funnin’ ya. LOLLOL.

Dakota

So today– 5/6/08 — marks the release of my BFF Michele Bardsley’s release of Because Your Vampire Said So. Queue MAJOR pom-pom moment. I’d do a split jump on her behalf, but I fear my bones, and the brittle disease of said bones I’m sure I’ll find out I have at the most inopportune moment, will display their symptoms in a most unseemly fashion.

So no split jumps for you. Try and hide your pain

However, it is with  great pride (and still no split jumps, though I might be up for a basket toss if we can find a guy who can take blunt force trauma to his chest), that I tell you, she’s my pal–and BECAUSE YOUR VAMPIRE SAID SO is AN AWESOME BOOK.

I’m just suggesting, in a roundabout, very subtle way that YOU SHOULD GO BUY IT. Cause it’s really good.

This is in no way a blog post to subliminally or otherwise recommend you should go BUY IT. I’m just being helpful.

I would never make you do anything you don’t want to do. Like BUY A BOOK by MICHELE BARDSLEY

I’m just sayin’–It’s a KILLA GOOD BOOK.

But I’m definitely not the pushy sort and again,  I would never try to sway you to GO BUY BECAUSE YOUR VAMPIRE SAID SO.

Here– A URL for you– Order Because Your Vampire Said So

Just on the off chance you might want to check it out. No commitment or anything. Just sayin’. And yeah, I know–I suck at the URL thingy ( it was all that cheerleading–it scrambled my memory for how to insert URL)–cut and paste to your browser when you GO BUY THE BOOK

And in all seriousness–Michele is a remarkably talented writer–incredibly funny, and an awesome pal. But just because she’s my BFF in no way means you should buy– BECAUSE YOUR VAMPIRE SAID SO.

But maybe you might consider it BECAUSE I SAID SO? LOL

No, I’m kidding–how about we all just wish Michele (and maybe, possibly consider buying her book BECAUSE YOUR VAMPIRE SAID SO) so many sales she can buy Godiva chocolates into the afterlife and beyond, eh?

Let’s give her some love

Hugs, honey!

Dakota

Edited by Ter to fix Link and add bookcover

So, here’s the thing. I totally and completely had this on my list of things to blog about, but old, doddering, tard that I am–I lost the list. Then I ended up winging it from memory. As you’ll see, my memory blows

In my RT post, I completely forgot to mention a random act of caffeine by our BFF Robin. She’s a reader from our Yahoo group, but more importantly, has become an awesome pal over the years. Her job’s kinda crazy, so we don’t get to chat with her much via email, but I was so happy to spend time with her after nearly a year of incommunicado.

Robin got stuck at the Omni–which, despite the transportation trouble back and forth to the Hilton, wasn’t really like being stuck at all. Because the Omni had a STARBUCKS. Uh-huh. Here we were shafted in the Hilton with Vlad and some lukewarm, colored piss water (it wasn’t that bad–it just wasn’t STARBUCKS–snd I’m snarking on Vlad, but he turned out okay in the end), and Robin held the key to keeping me from beheading Vlad

Every bloody day Robin lugged four or five cups of Starbucks on a bus to the Hilton so we’d shut our whiny traps. Every day–smile on her face, coffee cups juggled between her purse and the shuttle rides from Hell. That almost explains the awesomeness that is our Robin–but not totally

I had a wardrobe malfunction–like big. I was all happy clappy that high waisted pants are back in fashion. I hate those stupid hip-hugging things that feel like they’re falling off my tuchus. So I bought me a pair at Speigel. See them here– http://www.spiegel.com/shop/product_ensemble.aspx?effort=2AE&style_id=33431141&ifn=S0818040_SDC08_152&associated=1&index=1&gp_coll_id=5001&gp_cat_id=5002&nav_cat_id=8368&category_id=10719

Dress trousers in black–FABULOUS, I say. They zip up under like your boobs. Well, MY boobs because my boobs have decided southern locales are best when sunning

When my mom ironed them for me (cuz she’s simply the best at keeping everything from wrinkling when packing), I tried them on and they zipped right up–no prob. I slap those puppies on at the Hilton and I can’t get past like the bottom half of my ribs–WTF–how did I manage to gain weight in two days? I panic–Robin’s in the room with me–I eyeball her with a glare, thinking the reason I can’t get the zipper up is because I’m drinking a Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha and out of nowhere, it created five extra inches on my waist. it happens. Seriously. Like overnight. When you’re old like me. Just sayin’

I’m all blaming Robin in my mind, cursing my man for not being there when I need him most, but Robin’s quick to help–she’s up, on her feet and at the ready–zipper fingers twitching. She immediately rushes to help. We struggle–all while she assures me it really isn’t my expanding waistline (I roll my eyes, unconvinced). Finally, we figure it out–cuz brain surgeon is my next position in life. First, I’d forgotten that my mom had commented on how damned stiff the band of the waist was compared to the rest of the pants–that’s so they’ll stay up under yer taters. Second, my mom sprayed this stuff on the zipper to keep it from sticking. I need to pull down on the bottom half of the zipper while Robin pulls up over the thicker band. But that’s all lost on me. I couldn’t get my arm around my waist (and over the river and through the woods) to reach it if I suddenly turned into Stretch Armstrong. My ta-tas are in the way, people, and I get this pain across my bicep when I try. But Robin could–and she did–and for the remainder of the day–when I had to make potties (which is oft because I’m OLD), she and Jaynie had to come to the bathroom with me.

Pathetic on my part, but above and beyond for Robin, yes?

So it is with love, and admiration,  that I thank you, darling, for pimping my caffiene addiction and for just being some seriously splendid awesomeness.

Now on to Mark Henry–as I said in the last blog–dude is funny–his book? even funnier.  I never get to read nearly as much as I’d like these days, and when I do, I try to stay away from my genre because I don’t want anyone’s stuff in my head. So mostly I do a lot of King–Koontz and books from my friends like Michele Bardsley and Renee George.

Yet–I was verra curious about Mr. Henry. Not only because he had a fantastic title, but because he was so much fun at the con. Can play. Love that in an author.

So I set everything aside and read his book–couldn’t put the mutha down–read till my eyeballs wobbled–then got up and read some more the next day. Loved. It.

Loved.

So for any of you who haven’t picked up Happy Hour Of The Damned (cannot believe I didn’t think of that frickin’ title), Do It. You’ll laugh your ass off. Oh, and have a Flirtini while yer reading it. The ingredients for said drink are in the book–along with some freakin’ hilarious footnotes

DC